Warning for mentions of trauma, transphobia, suicide, abuse etc etc my life is a fucking nightmare.

So idk, I just watched a video about how transgender people are no longer legally protected from discrimination in the US. I also read comments about how people lost their insurance for trans health care and are FORCED TO DETRANSITION.

Now I will warn you again, HEAVY WARNING for trauma related to transphobia and suicide.

I would have killed myself if I was in this situation. And I usually try not to talk about it and hide it deep inside me, because I don't want any other trans person to feel affirmed in the desire to end their own life, or feel discouraged. But I would fucking kill myself. Right away. If it turned out I am forced to relive this again.

Where I live, a president has been chosen that is heavily anti LGBTQ, my rights are also now in danger, and this is slowly becoming too much. 10 Fucking years of my life I lived in agony because I was heavily bullied as a child. That ended, I discovered I was transgender and had to endure another 10 years of torment because of heavily transphobic parents who decided they will bully me as revenge for "me being a disgusting hermaphrodite". Now that this is over, I might be forced to detransition and relive this nightmare again. I am NOT doing another 10 years of this. If shit goes bad where I live this is genuinely the end for me.

Now I am not in danger, I am very mentally weakened because of what has been going on worldwide and in my own life, despite me being happier overall.

But just all of this shit is just becoming too much.

I have friends now, genuine friends, but they also kinda don't understand any of this. One of my friends has some views on transgender stuff that also cause more mental strain on me, so I have nowhere to go for support with this. But this is just the usual thing for me.

I will PROBABLY live. If things don't go the way they are going in the US or UK, I will be alive. But this really feels like a coinflip at this point.