She's been having stomach issues for a while, but tonight it was awful.

I was literally shaking, just in general felt really bad myself so I called my friend and idk, he just made jokes that kinda got to me and I feel so fucking bad about it.

She's my friend. I want her to be okay. Why am I so alone in all of this always.

To be clear I know him, he's got a specific way of dealing with problems, I don't blame him, I just can't find anyone who can just help me through difficult situations. Even now when I need help when I called him I just had to put a mask on and pretend, and I felt like I always do, that I have to make him feel heard and understood instead of the other way around.

I'll delete this later, it's just that no matter who I talk to I always feel like I'm alone anyways.